It’s official. Ireland is in the grip of a recession. The government has spent months studiously avoiding the ‘R Word’, instead using such beautiful euphemisms as ‘we’re experiencing a tightening of circumstances in the economy’. But now it’s official. The elephant in the room can no longer be ignored. We’re dooooomed!
But it’s not all bad. As a child of the ’80s, I must admit to feeling a slight twinge of nostalgia when I hear Ireland’s economic prospects being described as ‘bleak’. Looking at this whole recession business through rose-tinted glasses, I reckon It’ll be just like living in an edition of ‘Reeling in the Years’, except without the Feargal Sharkey soundtrack. Maybe Westlife, Boyzone, The Thrills and Damien Dempsey will all have to join together and stage another ‘Self Aid’. I’m excited already.
Now that we can’t afford Topshop, Next and that fancy place with the Italian name, we’ll all have to start buying our clothes in Dunnes again. I’m thinking of a nice duffle coat. Things might not seem so bad right now, but you need a good warm coat when the queue down at the dole office becomes so long that it starts two streets away.
In these challenging times, the two-car-family will become a thing of the past. When I was growing up, if any family on our street had more than one car, we just presumed that they were selling drugs. In keeping with the bleak ’80s theme, I’m afraid we’re all going to have to start buying Ford Cortinas and Datsuns again. Or at the very least, we’ll have to stop buying a new SUV every six months.
And it’ll be even bleaker for the majority of us who won’t afford the luxury of our own car. We’ll have to endure public transport. Unfortunately, Dublin Bus will have to sell its shiny new stock and recommission those noisy old green buses, and maybe even the orange/beige ones too. You remember… the ones with the leather seats that scorched your arse on hot days.
It’s not all doom and gloom though. Property developers, estate agents and the owners of such pretentious and frivolous businesses as ‘juice bars’ and ‘pet hotels’ are all staring at financial ruin (don’t laugh), but the rest of us will all get along just fine. Times may be slightly tougher, belts will be tightened and we might have to go back to drinking Smithwicks, Harp and Guinness, instead of Jägerbombs and WKD, but we’ll survive.
For more on the Recession, Click Here.
Filed under: Like, serious shit | Tagged: celtic tiger, economy, Ireland, recession
Brilliant post, you should be the new “George Lee”!
Recession, let the good times roll!
Grats on rejecting the lisbon treaty, In your face celtic tiger, europe wont help you this time.
Very ‘real’ overview of times past and ahead. I think everybody is getting carried away though. The economy is simply balancing itself out. We’ve experienced excess wealth, some of us being born into it and assuming that things would always be this way.
I doubt (or at least I hope not) that we will face the economic crises of the eighties.
Very good post, I,m off to get my duffel coat now.
What a relief! I always do well in recessions. Its the boom times that leave me standing. And definitely looking forward to the return of that belgian invention ‘the duffle coat.